Why does it bother me so? -- Last year during the **ALL STAR** season we had a difficult time. I say we because it indeed was "we". (Karma and I) There was a coach who was very authoritarian and Karma does not respond well to that. There was a manager who was extremely passive and failed to manage the team toward any success. Karma threatened to quit the team several times, eventually I told her that I would be disappointed but if thats what she wanted to do then I would support her. The experience had gotten so intolerable for her the game was no longer fun and the coach was just "mean". Ultimately Karma remained on through the short season and she was a good sport about it. She wanted to pitch and every weekend would ask the manager if she could and every weekend he refused to pitch her. (Even though both he and mean coach saw her throwing strikes during warm ups with me). They placed Karma in the left field and sat her out often. She didn't mind sitting out as she hated the outfield. She was usually pretty good for a hit or two but she was batting near the end of the line up. Karma took all this in stride, as if no big deal just not as fun as it could have been for her (except for the pitching she really wanted to pitch at least just once). I on the other hand was pissed. Pissed beyond belief. Karma is a catcher and she can play any position really. Shes very good at shortstop, 3rd and 1st. She makes throw downs to 2nd and 3rd with great accuracy and even better speed. Early on in the season when the problems quickly arose with Karmas behavior and attitude I met with the manager and the coach. I explained to them a little bit about Karma. Most importantly that she will not respect you if she doesn't feel respected by you. I also explained the issues with her attention. (aka ADHD). And then aside from those issues I asked what were they doing? what was the strategy? I told them the are underutilizing their players and its costing the girls games. The mean coach had her daughter pitch almost every game, and for the first 2 innings she would walk in the maximum amount of runs allowed. That is 4 runs per inning, so it would be 8 runs walked in! The poor girl rarely threw a strike. (I was score keeper so I knew!)-- I told the coach and manager that Karma is a catcher and an infielder. The coach also put another coach's daughter in at 3rd, and both her and the other coach's daughter in as catcher-- neither girl could make the throw down to 2nd and hardly made the throw to 3rd. But Karma could, but for whatever reason coach placed Karma in left field where she can get bored, lose interest and attention and easily distract. The first tournament was painful but I learned to take xanax before the next because I was getting too agitated and that wasn't good for Karma (again, Karma complained a little about these things but overall she was happy to play). It tore me up inside, the mean coach would say "are you girls having fun?", when I thought the paperwork was clear that it was a competitive team and the goal was not to have fun (as in rec ball) but to win! -- During the meeting with the manager and the coach I drew a comparison of Karma being like Barry Bonds- in that many people don't like Bonds but value he was a skilled player. I said to them "you don't have to like Karma but should recognize shes a skilled player." When that meeting was done all I manged to do was bruise the ego of the manager. The coach welcomed any more thoughts, feedback etc from me but the manager interrupted and said , "No. actually I don't want to hear anything you think any more. So I don't want to know. So dont say anything." I said, "ok. fine". That was that. and I was silent the whole season, pissed off at how poorly the manager managed the team. I think despite having skilled players the team won a total of 3 games the whole season. --
This *all star* season I thought was going to be different. The manager of the year before was not chosen to be a manager, no doubt because of unfavorable evaluations etc. He is however a coach. and the new manager is a coach who Karma does respect as she feels respected by her. And as exciting as it is to say the girls played their first tournament this past weekend and they played right into the championship game! In that game they were shut out however they walked away winning 2nd place and collected a trophy for their hard work! -- this year the girls won as many games in one weekend as last years team did the entire season. I should be happy right? Karma should be happy. Karma is happy! -- Me not so much. I feel jilted. and I have been trying to get over it with very little success. Not only did Karma not pitch much at all--I feel she was undervalued as a player and it reminded me of last year all over again. Karma hit almost every time she was up to bat not power hits but collected RBI's and got on base. She played rover, an outfield position the entire weekend. It's really no different than her playing left field! Rover is a valued position the manager tells me and I trusted the manager so I believed her. Its only valuable if the catcher can make the throw down. What really upset me the most was not only the lack of pitching for Karma but the over use of certain players when they clearly weren't the best players for the position. Again, just like last year. The manager at one time went through almost every pitcher before putting Karma in to pitch. (and I suggested to the coach (former manager who wanted to hear nothing from me) that Karma should start the game) -- At the point where Karma entered the bases were loaded and 3 runs had WALKED their way in (just like 90% of last seasons games)-- but this wasn't just a game this was the championship game! -- One more run and it was a mercy loss. Karma strikes a batter out, then walks the next and thats it the game is over. Karma stood on the mound not knowing what just happened. And Karma knows the game. No one told her your set up to fail here, one walk, one run in the game is over...I think had she known that vital piece of information it would have helped her -- she wanted to focus on speed rather than strikes. Shes a good pitcher as is- but she wanted to be even better. It doesnt really matter anyway because the girls still would have lost...even if they went into the 5th inning. No it wasn't just the pitching that upset me it was the leaving Karma in rover that pushed me over. For a kid like Karma thats not productive. Too easy to distract and for a child with attention issues its another set up to fail. She didn't fail in rover but she didn't do much of anything in rover. The manager rotated the 3rd base and the catcher with the same players. Karma is a catcher. Oh and Karma can make the throw downs accurately and quickly! Instead there was a catcher who needed a break, no two catchers who needed a break. There were better set ups to play the game. Such as a catcher who can make the throws and a fielder who could catch em and make the plays. Some parents im sure were pleased and happy with how their child played and with the positions she played. others I think were a little miffed as I was. But truthfully I'm not just miffed im down right pissed-- again! and what is this about me or about Karma? why am I so mad? Yes I know I'm taking it personal and I'm finding it upsetting. Karma thinks the manager made some bad decisions but she's not upset in the slightest. -- Karma seriously can tell you how to run the game the girl has over the top softball intelligence. I know for me I have not much of anything exciting other than the glory of my kids-and that's why I think this is so upsetting for me. I saw Karmas ability wasting away, I felt she was devalued. I didn't at all expect to feel this way, not with the new manager, but with the former useless manager as a coach and sounding board I guess it really isn't any surprise-- once again Karma was underutilized. This time I won't say anything to the manager or coach- Matter of fact since I'm struggling so much with this I won't say much of anything at all! . Even though I find the situation poignantly upsetting, Karma is unaffected. There is more I can do, but that probably isn't in the best interest of anyone, so aside from blogging about it- all I will do while Karma plays-- is let karma run its course.
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